I took the road to Singapore with Vee, and had a hell of a great time, and well did manage to get my paperwork for "education" done. It was a long journey cause i took a bus there alone, but it was worth it. I travelled 4 hours, along the green roads and had a long time to think things over. The green view made me realise what i was missing out on. Life isn't just about having someone, or having to do something to please you. But its the experience. Sometimes people just do things for the sake of fitting into the "jungle" they live in, and maybe i did that too. Along the way, i realised that, everything i do, is to please everyone and everything around me, but me. I never knew why i did that, cause, i don't see what i get from doing all that i have. I just wanna be able to say no to something i don't agree to. Say that i just don't want to do it, when i don't want to. I just want to get out of this situation of always doing something cause, i think that they'd expect me to do that. Sick and tired of being a puppet. It's not who i am, and i know i keep getting myself hurt by going on with it. Life is so much more then all "that". Family comes first, and then comes my best friend and my soul-sister. Not to sound like I'm the best person in this world, i just know there is this one person is whom I'll never give up in life, no matter what shit we are put through. Someone that would give up anything to just keep me happy. No matter how much it'll hurt, to tell me that I'm wrong and I'm supposed to do this something right. If you think that its easy to fit in the spot, then you're it. But i just want you to know that, it will take you a lot to take over that place, cause, there never is a spot with that space. You can just be what you want to be, and i wouldn't bother you. But someday you'll realise that you're too late, cause you can say that i mean this and that, i cry and weep, but you'll never be able to do it. Cause that's the difference between me and you. I put the world on hold, but you just put me on hold for the world that keeps you on hold. Wake up, cause i tried everything. I guess i just have to wait for you to watch the scenes of, "I'm too late". This is one long post after forever. Everything was supposed to be better, now I'm surprised. I'm just scared that I'm going to be "wrong" again, like how i always am. Words are just words, unless you put them to action. Dig that fucking hole you buried. I'm done. All i care about is my future, and what my instincts say. I just don't want to be that shadow that's stepped on. I'm going to be me, and see if you can handle that. Then again for what I've been through, you should go through that, and maybe then you'd know how much this actually can hurt. I just want my life back, i don't want to go back to the spot where i was. I just need to find myself, and i think, maybe i just did. I love my grandpa, and now, i have another. A whole family that accepted me in a second after seeing my face. It's something not everyone can, and is willing to do. I'm lucky, and these are the things that i should care about. Not getting hurt, and crying all night long. Life is a long road, but what comes along the road, is just little things that you take, if you wish to. Leave it, if it adds on to the weight. So many other things that i should care about, and for someone who doesnt know that this part of me exists, you don't deserve any of me. Adios.
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