You're my it.

You've not even left, and i'm missing you,

what more when you leave?

"Wish you ddint have to.."

To be where i am..

:) Sometime, i think you know what i'm talking about, but you just act like you don't care. I mean, why is your ego so freaking big lol. Just accept it like, gosh! Okay, so i am here to tell myself that i got to do  certain things, for my sake, and.. theirs. So its me daddy's birthday today, and i got him a pretty card. :) it said, "little girls love their daddies, even when they're all grown up.." :) Heh. Yeahh, i do. Oh god, why am i so bored. Just wish i had a car, and a bag full of money to run free and do what i want to.. :( *sniffsniff* Christmas is around the corner and i just want to get the best of it before they leave, and before i finally decide what is the right thing to do.. for me, and the people around me. I never thought making a decision would be so hard. I don't wanna leave the country but, i think i want to, so i can be alone for awhile.. I don't wanna influence the ones around me to do the same as i. And, sometimes, its nicer to miss then actually, have it.. and soon get bored of it. Get what i mean? : / Life itself is weird. Cause, school was supposed to be hard, but this.. it beyond what most of us had imagined. Maybe its time..
love.

What are words if you really don't mean them when you say it..

So they say..

..now what?

...do i really need to consider this to make my decision..

Here i am, once again..

Trust. 

Hey bloggy. Okay, so i have accounts paper tomorrow. :( And Literature. With all this in my head, i have another worry. What is it that i don't understand. Never blogged for a long time and this is going to be one hell of a sad post. Letting go is one thing. But giving a second chance takes a lot of courage. And in this case, i guess i did. And i know why i did that. But now, i'm feeling things i'm not supposed to be. But then again, i asked for this.. And i should let it be, and give it a chance. If you didn't know, its something hard to accept. But i'm facing it because i think we share mutual feelings. I want you to know that its going to take me some time to adapt this situation. Cause, i don't know what my reaction should be. I want to trust you but you didn't leave me with a choice. :( I'm trying as much as you are to make it work, to make this feeling go away. Just that, i feel that, in someway, you'd be doing something behind my back.. and i'll never find out. Trust. I had it, now i don't know how to gain it.. I'm not making things worse. But, what the hell, you already know how i feel. And i know you're working for it too. So we'll see where it goes.. Asking for someone to trust you is hard, but doing something that will make them trust you is the way to gain someone's trust. And i know that you're doing what you should be. I want all the things you said you wanted from her. I'm standing exactly where you stood with her.. maybe now you'd know how i feel. Like you said, trust is like a paper, once its crumpled, it takes a long process to fix its shape..

P.s: You should know how much i love you, cause i'm letting myself go through this shit. : / Ily.