I never can, and never will truly hate you.

Saying stupid things. Being a real pain. Sometimes, i wish i could really kill you for the things you say. 

Hating you isn't going to make things any better. And not talking to you, makes me feel worse every time you try to make it up to me. Why? Cause we're blood bonded. As much as i can hate over you, my love is much stronger than what i can hate you with. From the bad things i wish i could say, to the things i complain about.. you are one person who can instantly swing my mood to the best to the worst. You say that i say things to the world, the worse things.. but you should ask them how much i really talk highly of how you are, when all you think i say is the bad things.. You are the one i look up to, forced to i can say. But i choose to. And i don't regret. Cause i did learn a lot. With you, things are the worst in so many different ways, cause you just know the ways to hurt me with your painful words. But when you come begging for help, i just can't help but feel like i don't want to, and the next minute, i just sit there, finishing where i left by saying no, cause in the end, you are my priority. You say i choose the rest of this part of my life, well.. i am left with no choice cause i've seen too much that i shouldn't have which left me wounded.. If i had you to talk to, and rant to.. i wouldn't need the other company to sob to. You should know that more than anything in this world, this part of my life means the most to me. My future is us growing up together, all the painful memories that we shared, including the happy ones, cause they over power the bad ones anytime. For the love of sisterhood, i have to say, as much as i willingly want to hate you, my heart just won't find the space to let the hate in. I guess god left us that way.. Sorry for the times i wish you just left me alone, i didn't mean them. You'd probably never see this, but at least it makes me feel good that i got to say it somewhere. Yeah, i love you. But sometimes i wish you knew how to say things. Who cares. I made my point, you're always important to me, as much as i bitch about you. I never bad mouthed about you to third people. Only to those i share my feelings to. So if that seemed wrong, i'm sorry. 

To the words that are never said, cheers!