Hold tight, ♥

A fairy-tale come true maybe? 

Wooden chairs, coiled vine roots, with pretty flowers at every end, calm and chilled.. with the most amazing surprise. Who knew cocoa came with golden labels. So cliche. Snuggling through a horror scene.. Feeling like there's no one else in the story except for herself and her imagination of her dream. Back to back, time to time, burst of happiness and so much emotions. It sounds like a movie. She got lucky, cause her wait paid off, to a stubby prince sweeping her off her feet, showing her what reality feels like. Like sleeping beauty, with a little twist. There's never a right time for something perfect, because in life, the best and worst things happen when we least expect it. She listened and believed everything life taught, hoping that something better will only come, when she finds herself. But who knew, it took a not-so-short elf to make all that sound like a fable. Cinderella was tortured..hiding from a glass slipper, she found her prince. Beast believed in love, when he cried over his wilting rose. Snow White, awakened to a kiss of her true love.. and Little Mermaid with a choice between her love and her origins. Well, here on earth, we just believe that something could be it. 

It's an unwritten fairy-tale, because.. happily ever after, is what you make it.

Get out, right now. It's the end of you and me.

You take my hand, and you say you've changed

But boy you know you're begging don't fool me

Because to you it's just a game

So let me on down

Cause time has made me strong

I'm starting to move on

I'm gonna say this now

Your chance has come and gone

And you know

It's just too little too late

A little too wrong

And I can't wait

Boy you know all the right things to say

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You just like the chase

To be real, it doesn't matter anyway

You know it's just too little too late..

Bipolar.

So convincing, it scares me..

PHILOPHOBIA

the fear of falling in love

Some things come unexpected..

Dreams and desire.

Are you a part of this plan of mine? 

She said,

If you go first and reach for the fruit; I'll shake the tree.

Do a little dance; I'll add some music.

Move in the direction of your dreams, even though at first nothing seems to happen; I'll align the stars, butter your bread, connect the dots, trim the hedge, move some mountains, float the boat, and see you at the ball.

Metaphorically. Except for seeing you at the ball.

If you go first, 
    The Universe

Rest in peace, Sonic.

You were a cutie, so quiet, yet the cutest thing at home. Fat little, creature, so harmless yet everyone was afraid of you. Sorry Sonic, if you felt like you didn't get enough attention.. We loved you as much. Don't doubt that. We really love you.. It's going to be sad, to walk pass the kitchen looking at the empty cage. It's okay.. You're at a better place now, i know you couldn't take the heat here too.. See you at the rainbow bridge someday!  Love you, little one.. It's depressing that you're gone, for good, but you're at a better place. I love you, Sonic. Gonna miss you so badly. :'( 

It's depressing that you're gone, for good, but you're at a better place. I love you, Sonic. Gonna miss you so badly. :'( 

Insomnia?

Or maybe, it's just a mania. 

..missing you, a bit?

I am convinced..

It's barely possible to adapt to something, knowing that the past made you feel so good.. and everything about it was too good to be true. From the missing-s, and yearning-s.. We all knew that things don't last forever..

And we gave up.

Then something else comes along, breaks your trust all over, and slaps you in the face, tells you that nothing in this world is ever going to be perfect.. Because being perfect not only gives you the fear that you might lose yourself in the process.. Being so afraid, you walk away from the traumatic memory, trying to forget it all, forget being taken advantage of, forget that you're nothing but a material.. forget that all.. to walk into reality, convinced that you're not over the past, because nothing will ever be what you had. Walking in the cold feeling, crying for help, barely able to move, cause you're that broken.. lost attachment, lost it all.. and you wake up.

Perfection?

But why? Why is it so important that you are perfect?

What if the imperfections are the reason why something so hard, yet rare to find, appears to be just thaaaat perfect. No matter how much your heart never saw what it had to offer, you believe that something else was much better than what you have, right under your nose. Searching high and low, to come back to what's always been there, for you to dig up, and reminisce. Your memories teach, your present prevents, and your future.. has just begun.

When you let yourself believe that you have the space to be imperfect is when you start seeing things as perfect.

Don't say it..

“I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ” 
― Yann Martel - Life of Pi

“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”

Take me somewhere. Somewhere.. far away from this damned earth.

Trembling, shaking in fear, to the thoughts of these inhumane act.. 

I want to cry.

When Tsunami hit, people were in fear. Fear to die, because there were too many things un-achieved.. because they couldn't bear the thought of watching their family die, right in front of their eyes. It should have. The world should have ended, so a whole new world could have been formed, free of pain, free of these brutal act that some countries even legalized. Fuck you. Because you'd not let your daughter or son become a victim of rape, but it's okay to let the animals suffer and die, the way the poor fella, on the picture above died. How is it fair? How is it fair to just, be human, and act brutally towards these innocent creature, with no words to explain how they feel.. You can scream, plead, and complain the fuck about what you went though, and bring them to justice for something so small.. but this angel gets raped, killed even.. with no voice to speak it's feelings? How are we even eligible to be called humans, when the word humanity describes a noble person, who acts with kindness.. when all you do, is use the name, human, and check your list, on doing all the things that you were not even taught. How are you people so heartless? Where is the love? 

Fuck you. Just, fuck you all!

Tonight, i'm wishing..

    We used to argue over two things that seemed so far apart, dreams and desire. Then we fell apart, only to realize they're both the same thing, with two separate intentions. How can someone convince you that what you feel is surreal, and that it's just a phase of life? How could you be so sure that they knew your life better? Let go, chase after what's yours, even if it means hurting someone.. cause you'd rather live the guilt of hurting them for now, then letting them believe they're living a life, which you know.. is a lie. Don't let someone walk up to you, and make you believe that dreaming big is only going to break your heart.. cause if you're not dreaming big, then what are you even dreaming for?

Even when you both knew that it was all so wrong, why did it feel so right when you made it that far? Cause dreams are meant to make you believe, that no matter how the world judges, only He has the power to say it's wrong. Don't let your dream down, cause right now, that's the only thing you have. The only thing you can fight for. 

I didn't ask for much, just a little thought.

Nothing in return. 

Just, nothing. Cause expectation leads to un-satisfaction, and that leads to depression. 

How? 

Cause everyone can point a finger and say, you're lacking attention. But for you to have come to the extend of understanding a persons situation couldn't think of a way to help.

Why?

It's a simple act of kindness.. It's like watching a child starve, while you just walk pass and throw your food in the bin because you couldn't finish it. 

Cruel?

No one asked for your life, just some care, to be handled with so they know that somewhere around there, there is a bigger picture to what we're looking at now. 

We all know the bitter truth.

What is the excuse?

Down memory lane.. i don't know if it's a good feeling.

You have a choice, some don't. Why take the risk, on something you love?

"You can never live the past," they said. "What if it's not meant to be," she said. 

...shall forever be a confused soul.

Happy World Animal Day!

“Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”

My kind of happiness.. :) 

Where is the love?

I don't even know where to start.. 

A morning being awake to a life, that is so blessed, thinking it's all so right. Then you realize that you have a small space in the heart, which feels so empty, so cold.. But then people come along, tell you there's much better things in life to experience than just love. But wait, when you like something so much, God, family, passion, object, animal, the term you use is love. You love something, cause there's no bigger feeling than love, no stronger word than love, i feel. And yet people misuse the strong word. We sinned. Who doesn't miss being pampered? Who doesn't like the attention of having someone control you over, say don't do this, i'm jealous. Who? Missing the hugs? The comfort of having someone so close, to yourself, to your family even.. to have the all access pass to get the freedom to be yourself in front of them, show them who makes you so happy.. 

"To have someone you love so much, who is the reason behind your random smiles.. bring him home, look

at him in the eye, in front of the rest, smile.. and know that he's the reason for your happiness. 

No matter how hard the situation is, you know you'll make it work.."

You wan't to start a war?

Push my buttons and i'll make sure you don't have any. 

Mofo's everywhere. 

Ladeeedaaa.

So, how to not make it all so boring. 

Talking, chatting, not being able to see the expressions, not knowing if that person is even the person who you see in the picture.. and all that can lead to being so close to someone, that you unknowingly let yourself be yourself, and you only realize when you think about how much this person makes you laugh. :) Yes, i'm weird. Haha, but you're weird-er.

  

This one is for you, Komel.